Starzology Interview: Sarah Mireles
Exploring neurodivergence, therapy, and personality through astrology...
Neurodivergence, Astrology, and the Power of Understanding
On a recent episode of the Starzology podcast I had the chance to interview Sarah Mireles, a clinical therapist based in Los Angeles who specializes in working with neurodivergent teens and their parents.
She’s not an astrologer, but she has found astrology to be a surprisingly effective tool for helping families better understand each other. After listening to our episode about addiction, she reached out and submitted a request to be a guest on our show, and I was immediately intrigued.
Listen to the episode: Therapy and Astrology with Sarah Mireles
Read more on Starzology.com: Therapy and Astrology
From the outset, we talked about the use of astrology as a metaphorical language. It’s not about predicting your fate or limiting your options—quite the opposite. It gives us a vocabulary to talk about our emotions and identities. It’s not about belief—it’s about what works.
The birth chart is one of the most ancient and nuanced maps of personality we have. So when Sarah told me she was interested in using astrology alongside evidence-based therapy to help parents see their children through a different lens, I knew we were going to have a fascinating conversation.
Not a Diagnosis, But a Map
Let’s get the disclaimer stuff out of the way first…
Astrology should never be used to try to tell if someone has ADHD, autism, OCD, or any other condition. Just like you can’t look at a newborn’s chart and predict their sexual orientation, or how long they’ll live. That’s not what it’s for.
Instead, the birth chart can offer another way of understanding how a person naturally thinks, learns, communicates, and experiences the world. It can indicate areas of strength, and areas of challenge, but it can’t predict exactly how they will express those gifts or handle those hardships.
Sarah talked about how parents often receive a diagnosis and suddenly have a name for the challenges they’ve been facing—which can be validating—but it doesn’t give them a framework for understanding who their child is as a unique human being.
Astrology can help provide that broader picture. But the key when combining astrology with therapy is to approach it like a roadmap, a tool for understanding, not as a way of labeling people or putting them in a box.
Different Brains, Different Strengths
We talked about the emphasis on differences rather than deficits. Every brain is different. Some people think in words. Some think in pictures. Some process information emotionally, while others need to take action, working their way through the issue before it makes sense.
Those aren’t problems that need fixing. They’re just different operating systems. The better we can understand our differences, the better our relationships will be. We may think very differently, but astrology can help us frame those differences in a way that fosters mutual understanding without stigma.
I’ve spent my life studying astrology, so I find this way of thinking incredibly natural. There are infinite, equally valid ways of moving through the world. How boring would it be if we all thought the same way?
Naturally, we spent quite a bit of time talking about Mercury, the planet associated with learning, communication, and thinking styles. An “afflicted” Mercury can often indicate early difficulties with learning, but fortunately, it’s a very fast-moving planet.
Using progressions, you can see how Mercury’s condition evolves over the course of a lifetime. What starts out as a challenge in childhood can become a strength in adulthood.
More about Mercury on Starzology.com:
Challenges and Gifts
In astrology, every placement has inherent strengths and challenges. As a Virgo, perfectionism is one trait that immediately comes to mind!
Perfectionism can be paralyzing, leading to anxiety and procrastination. The perfect is often the enemy of the good, and sometimes it’s easier to avoid committing to a project than to risk failure. But without perfectionism, we might never try to create anything.
My sewing projects, love of writing, art, burlesque, jewelry making—even roller skating, which is a hell of a learning curve! If I wasn’t obsessed with getting good at it, I might have quit after the first several hard falls on my ass. But here I am, eight years later, a much stronger skater and more mentally healthy because I powered through the setbacks, constantly improving. (Read about how I became a roller girl, if you haven’t already!)
The same is true of hyperfocus, emotional sensitivity, and many other unconventional ways of thinking. The same traits that create difficulties in one environment, like the classroom, can become extraordinary strengths in another.
Astrology, especially the modern, psychology-focused style practiced by Alison and myself, tries not to cast any placement as 100% “good” or “bad.” Everything exists on a spectrum.
Helping Parents See Their Children Differently
One idea that really stood out for me in my conversation with Sarah was the reminder that neurodivergent teens aren’t trying to be difficult. They’re often responding to overwhelming brain signals in the only way they know how.
That may sound simplistic, but it can be a profound shift in perspective for parents. Instead of asking, “Why won’t my child just do what I’ve asked?” they can begin asking, “What’s happening in my child’s nervous system right now?”
That shift can help parents see from the child’s perspective, and frame their interactions differently. By giving their child the benefit of the doubt, they can move towards a way of interacting that empowers the child, giving them a range of choices rather than ultimatums.
Tell Me a Success Story
Sarah shared a wonderful example from her practice involving a teenager who constantly resisted basic hygiene, like brushing their teeth. The parents were understandably stressed, but the more they pushed, the more their teen reacted with resistance.
Working with Sarah, they were able to shift their approach to one of understanding. It wasn’t about the act of brushing their teeth. It was about autonomy. Instead of doubling down with consequences and punishment, they tried something unintuitive: offering their teen options that respected their independence.
As soon as the teen felt more in control, their resistance gradually dissolved, and they were able to meet their parents somewhere in the middle.
This story is a beautiful reminder that building relationships is more important than enforcing rules, another belief that’s close to my heart.
Understanding Leads to Healing
Another theme we kept coming back to was compassion. Astrology isn’t about predicting your future or excusing antisocial traits (“of course I’m impatient, I’m an Aries”). It’s about understanding yourself and the people around you.
Whether we’re looking at a birth chart or working through challenges in a therapist’s office, we’re ultimately asking the same question: Who is this person, really? How can we relate, even when we disagree? Where do we meet in the middle, and how can I try to understand the areas of our greatest difference?
Astrology gives us a symbolic language for understanding, while also creating a buffer that avoids blame and stigmatizing our differences.
I thoroughly enjoyed my conversation with Sarah, and I think parents, therapists, astrologers, and anyone interested in human behavior will find it fascinating.
Listen to the episode: Therapy and Astrology with Sarah Mireles
Where to Find Sarah Mireles Online